


After Everything

by Anxeastrife56



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, VanVen Week (Kingdom Hearts), they finally get to sleep, they finally get to talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21958597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxeastrife56/pseuds/Anxeastrife56
Summary: Vanitas comes back, after fading in the Keyblade Graveyard, warm.VanVen week Day 5: Warmth
Relationships: Vanitas/Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	After Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you all are having a good and relax holiday!
> 
> It is now VanVen week Day 5 so we are almost there! 
> 
> Please enjoy!

Vanitas was warm. That was the first sensation that he was aware of.

The second was the pain, or rather the lack of it. His limbs didn’t shake from excruciating tremors, his chest didn’t ache and his body didn’t protest against him as he shifted slightly. In his hazy, semi-conscious mind, this revelation was met with blissful contentment. There had not been a point in Vanitas’ life where he had not been in pain but now the never-ending cycle was absent, though he was not sure for how long this reprieve would last. But he could not help thinking that he should try to enjoy it before he was thrown back to the torrent of his existence.

The third sensation was a weight pressed against his body. Someone’s arms were wrapped around his waist, legs tangled together with his own. Feather-like hair brushed against his chin as the weight shifted in response to his fidgeting.

Vanitas laid still as the body settled back against his own. A large part of him, now slightly more awake, wanted to keep lying there, content. But the smaller part of him, so acclimated to the constant fear, pain, anger, and anxiety was already on alert, suspicious of any sort of repose. When things were too still, too quiet he couldn't stop the thoughts that reminded him that existences like his didn’t deserve this type of rest; that soon it would be snatched away and he would be thrust back into painful darkness. 

Seconds bleed into minutes and the longer he thought, the easier it became for his mind to spiral back into anger and hate. The limbs pressed against him, that were before a reassuring weight now felt like rope, trapping him. The touch of them beginning to feel like burns on his skin.

_ ‘I need to go! I shouldn’t be here’ _ he thought vehemently as he began to thrash against the other body.

_ ‘Why am I here? I should be dead.’ _ He could feel his heartbeat in his throat, choking his airways. It started to become hard to breathe, his breath coming out in short puffs. His pulse was so loud in his ears as hot tears well up beneath his closed eyes.

_ ‘I'm going to die.’ _ The fear that accompanied that thought startled him with its severity. He had never felt this intense wave of fear, not even when he faced down Ventus for the last time, X-blade shattering alongside his hope of ever being whole again. 

_ ‘I’m going to fade away and it won’t even matter,’ _ He thought, as he mentally curled into himself.  _ ‘Nothing I do matters, just like I don’t matter.’ _

He had been denied by Ventus, his other half; abandoned to die by his mentor, used and used again and again by forces outside of his understanding. His existence only gained significance when he showed how useful he could be. 

He was only vaguely aware of his thrashing turning into harsh trembling. Faintly, he thought he could hear a voice calling his name, but it was drowned out by his own erratic heartbeat and the chattering of his teeth.

Unexpectedly the weight was completely on top of him, hands holding his limbs down against his sides. Vanitas opened his eyes, startled by the abrupt contact, and meet with blue irises staring back at him.

“Vanitas?” Ventus questioned, his face twisted with an expression he had only seen Ventus direct at his ‘friends.’ It spoke of concern and fear for his well-being. 

_ ‘Ventus has always been so easy to read _ ’ Vanitas thought, bitterness cutting through the panic that had been choking him moments before.

Vanitas searched for his own voice to snap at both Ventus and his misplaced concern.

_ He didn’t care about me before, too busy searching for his precious friends, so why act so concerned now? _

A traitorous part of him knew the answer, reminding him of the softness that lived inside Ventus, his heart free of the jagged edges of darkness, more specifically free of him. But Vanitas said none of this.

Instead, he asked, “Why the hell are you here?”, his voice hoarse from exhaustion and disuse. Ignoring the way his voice came out, He observed as Ventus’ face softened at his question, lips curling into a soft smile as he released the grip he had on Vanitas’ arms.

“You’re in my room” Ventus whispered back. Vanitas’ head turned to the side, inspecting the space for the first time since he had opened his eyes. From the bed which he laid on, he saw the familiar walls of Ventus’ room; decorations and miscellaneous knickknacks littering the space. Nothing had changed since the last time Vanitas’ had been there, mocking Ventus’ inability to save his friends, all those years ago.

His confusion, probably visible on his face, prompted Ventus to elaborate. “I guess you don’t remember the battle in the graveyard with Aqua and Sora?” Ventus paused as if waiting for Vanitas to confirm his assumption. Feeling disoriented, Vanitas tried to keep his face neutral as his mind raced to recall. It came back to him in small pieces. The hot, suffocating sand, the clash of his keyblade, the ache as his body hit the ground and the infuriating pitch of Sora’s voice as he told him he didn’t have to be just darkness. And then nothing. Had he dies, faded back into the very darkness he was born from? If so, just how and why had he returned here to Ventus? 

As if hearing his name, Ventus let out a soft hum, low against the general silence of the room. Vanitas glared up at him, irritated at both the holes in his memories and the relaxation that Ventus had, seated on top of him. But Ventus’ face doesn’t change, he still wears that soft comfortable smile, as though they had all the time in the world.

“You came back” Ventus spoke softly, in a voice barely above a whisper but filled to the brim with wonder, “You faded into darkness and I thought you were gone for good.” At that Vanitas’ pulse spiked, a spark of anger jumping to life in his chest.

“You would have loved that, wouldn’t you? Finally getting rid of me, just like you always hoped for, right?” He bit out, voice carrying the same aggression he usually spoke with as he tried to throw Ventus off of him. But Ventus doesn’t get up, instead reasserting his grip on Vanitas’ arm.

“That’s not what I meant! Just let me finish, geez!” Ventus snapped hotly. Slightly shocked at the sudden rise in volume, Vanitas stilled his struggling. Despite wanting nothing more than to yell, to swipe at Ventus with anything to cause pain, something held him back. Maybe it was the intensity in the other boy’s gaze as he sat above him, or the heat from Ventus’ hands pressed against Vanitas’ wrists. So, Vanitas went limp and waited.

Ventus seemed shocked at Vanitas’ acquiescence, eyebrows shooting up in a silent question. Vanitas couldn’t help but let out a scoff as he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “You wanted to speak so badly, so speak idiot.”

Vanitas saw the offense flash across Ventus’ face before it returned to a neutral expression. “Well… I meant what I said... about not asking to be sifted apart.” Ventus’ head lowered as he shifted to set his head on Vanitas’ chest. The contact sets his nerves on end, like a softer version of the ever-present pain. He can feel Ventus’ ear against his chest and knows that the other boy can hear his heartbeat stutter at the physical contact. 

“I know that you didn’t ask for this either, to be subjected to this.” A breath soft like a sight. “So you deserve to choose, to truly decide what you are, away from Xehanort and his talk of Darkness vs Light.” Ventus moved his hand then, intertwining his fingers with Vanitas’ own. And Vanitas can’t help the lump that formed in his throat, sticky and heavy with emotions. His voice comes out thick.

“But what else can I be? You’ve already rejected me. I am the darkness that you don’t need. And now you are a whole person without me” All at once a hollow feeling settled in his chest, empty and dark. “All my existence I’ve been defined by other things; you, Sora, Darkness. Nothing about me has ever truly been mine. Even my emotions are just tools to create Unversed.”

He wasn't sure where those candid words were coming from. It was the most honest thing he had ever said and to his ‘hated’ other half no less. Was it because Ventus was so close, close enough that they could hear each other's heartbeats, hopefully out of sync? Or was it the loneliness finally seeping out in a desperate attempt to feel like he could connect with something outside of the Unversed? Whatever it was, it left Vanitas feeling exposed. Would Ventus laugh at how deeply Vanitas’ wanted to feel whole again? How earnest his feelings were underneath all the bravado and aggression? 

“I’m sorry” Ventus stated and with those words, Vanitas’ felt as though he was free falling. 

Ven continued. “I’m sorry that I can’t be what you need, your missing piece.” The urge to deny the truth hung from Vanitas’ tongue, a remnant of a habit beaten into him from creation.

“But I want to help you. I want you to find out who you can be.” The softness with which Ventus said this cut to Vanitas’ core and he could barely cover the sob it elicited.

“You showed up here, whole and unconscious. That has to mean something, that your life means something!” So earnest, frighteningly earnest. Ventus squeezed one of Vanitas’ hands as if he were afraid Vanitas would evaporate once again. “So stay here, with us, with me.”

How long had Vanitas wanted to hear that? To hear Ventus accept him into his heart, to tell him he was wanted, not just a broken being? It was almost too good to be true. All the hatred and fear swirled in a vicious cycle as he thought about how to respond.

“How do I know you truly mean it?” He whispered harshly. “That you won't change your mind?” Everyone who claimed to care about him had eventually thrown him out. 

Ventus doesn’t immediately answer, choosing instead to sit up, thighs still draped on either side of Vanitas’ legs. He stared for a few seconds, gaze heated as he caught Vanitas’ eyes. Then he leaned forward, lowering until his forehead pressed firmly against Vanitas’. His hands reached to cradle Vanitas’ face, and Vanitas can feel the callous pads of Ventus’ fingers against his cheek. 

“We may no longer be the same person,” the words ghosted over Vanitas’ lips, soft and warm. Vanitas can see every line and Valley of Ventus’ face, a face that Vanitas could recall even in the darkest abyss. “But we are connected. The people you meet always have space in your heart, an unbreakable bond that always leads you back to one another.” 

Exhaustion pulled at the edge of his thoughts, making it hard to be coherent. “So I can never escape you?” Vanitas snarked absently, mind still mulling over the significance of Ventus’ declaration. 

Ventus let out a puff of air, a laugh, seemingly amused. “If you want to take it like that, sure.” Ventus then closed his eyes and a silence fell over the both of them. Sleep began to pull at him, eyes becoming too heavy to keep open. But before he passed out he heard Ventus speak.

“So sleep and know that I’ll be here when you wake.” And for some reason, Vanitas couldn’t help but believe him.

**Author's Note:**

> This one was one of my favorites when I wrote it and that hasn't changed much. I love writing about tender touches. 
> 
> If you see any errors or if you have any critiques please feel free to let me know!  
> As always, Thank you for reading!


End file.
